so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
