Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
