Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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