She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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