I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
