last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
