Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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