I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
