College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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