ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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