if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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