Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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