Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
