It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
worst night to have a conscience
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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