Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
