So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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