Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
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you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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