I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize