I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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