Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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