Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration