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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My liver just broke up with me...

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Marry him

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.

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• 

  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night

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• (931): View more from Tennessee

  Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (909): View more from California

  It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

  (626): View more from California

  And a merry methadone to all

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• (941): View more from Florida

  What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.

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• (530): View more from California

  Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me

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• (619): View more from California

  I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.

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• (347): View more from New York

  That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.

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