Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(260): View more from Indiana

I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.

(260): View more from Indiana

Sorry- wrong number! :)

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(260): I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier. (260): Sorry- wrong number! :) http://tfl.nu/1604

Replies (18) Good night (1588) Bad night (4954)
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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(828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku

Replies (17) Good night (2716) Bad night (731)
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(619): View more from California

She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something

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(619): She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something http://tfl.nu/p4oj

Replies (31) Good night (999) Bad night (7435)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.

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(610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here. http://tfl.nu/6w86

Replies (30) Good night (1482) Bad night (13085)
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(703): View more from Virginia

He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.

(1-703): View more from Virginia

Wasn't he an English major?

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(703): He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him. (1-703): Wasn't he an English major? http://tfl.nu/vbmk

Replies (12) Good night (1227) Bad night (5046)
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(951): View more from California

Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.

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(951): Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other. http://tfl.nu/32su

Replies (10) Good night (2119) Bad night (864)
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(818): View more from California

Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.

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(818): Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse. http://tfl.nu/0n19

Replies (18) Good night (3483) Bad night (985)
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(707): View more from California

I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA

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(707): I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA http://tfl.nu/ppt3

Replies (24) Good night (3178) Bad night (1466)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now

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(507): you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now http://tfl.nu/xehl

Replies (9) Good night (3143) Bad night (1162)
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(316): View more from Kansas

This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.

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(316): This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python. http://tfl.nu/dk7h

Replies (20) Good night (2523) Bad night (676)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.

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(512): I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas. http://tfl.nu/ufwf

Replies (28) Good night (4085) Bad night (698)
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(435): View more from Utah

honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those

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(435): honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those http://tfl.nu/lx6k

Replies (3) Good night (1835) Bad night (608)
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(206): View more from Washington

That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods

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(206): That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods http://tfl.nu/achd

Replies (6) Good night (3648) Bad night (609)
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(678): View more from Georgia

ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do

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(678): ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do http://tfl.nu/pgwu

Replies (3) Good night (536) Bad night (1038)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.

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(404): Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now. http://tfl.nu/qdkd

Replies (20) Good night (1195) Bad night (568)

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