i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.