the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."