Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.

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(925): I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it. http://tfl.nu/g85u

Replies (6) Good night (692) Bad night (2061)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

(416): View more from Ontario

Apparently you chose the latter.

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(902): So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour. (416): Apparently you chose the latter. http://tfl.nu/xdpl

Replies (29) Good night (3739) Bad night (670)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair

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(508): even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair http://tfl.nu/q2bb

Replies (25) Good night (2613) Bad night (1292)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(

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(732): the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :( http://tfl.nu/7drn

Replies (19) Good night (1168) Bad night (6605)
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(607): View more from New York

I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.

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(607): I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/vi3x

Replies (32) Good night (10089) Bad night (823)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I honestly don't know what to make of that.

(423): View more from Tennessee

A ham sandwich would be nice.

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(423): I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich. (1-423): I honestly don't know what to make of that. (423): A ham sandwich would be nice. http://tfl.nu/fg3s

Replies (16) Good night (7697) Bad night (1130)
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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(207): Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us. http://tfl.nu/mqg9

Replies (2) Good night (4200) Bad night (1068)
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(707): View more from California

Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.

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(707): Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive. http://tfl.nu/ly82

Replies (6) Good night (3169) Bad night (1018)
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(315): View more from New York

What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?

(414): View more from Wisconsin

Its 11 o'clock somewhere

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(315): What's the rule on cocaine before dinner? (414): Its 11 o'clock somewhere http://tfl.nu/yof7

Replies (7) Good night (2586) Bad night (943)
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(+61): View more from Australia

remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.

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(+61): remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice. http://tfl.nu/vzpo

Replies (21) Good night (4373) Bad night (603)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?

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(484): Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with? http://tfl.nu/xos6

Replies (9) Good night (1800) Bad night (580)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them

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(970): I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them http://tfl.nu/6llp

Replies (9) Good night (1704) Bad night (415)
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(906): View more from Michigan

He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"

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(906): He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall" http://tfl.nu/x1lu

Replies (1) Good night (674) Bad night (217)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.

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(413): Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off. http://tfl.nu/bewj

Replies (5) Good night (510) Bad night (237)
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(989): View more from Michigan

Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?

(615): View more from Tennessee

Where's your car?

(989): View more from Michigan

The girl I brought home apparently stole it

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(989): Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station? (615): Where's your car? (989): The girl I brought home apparently stole it http://tfl.nu/7hzq

Replies (6) Good night (449) Bad night (753)

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