And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
