Kareoke will never be a sober sport
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
