Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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