tell your sister to shave her snatch
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize