just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
