hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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