Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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