Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
