Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize