my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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