I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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