babies were throwing up all over the place
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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