but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
