THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
