Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
