I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
