Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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