dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize