i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.