Cold hands, warm shart.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house