i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.