A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize