my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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