from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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