Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my being single is dangerous.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
