What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
