Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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