Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
