Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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