oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize