Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
