I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Ketchup is God's man juice
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize