Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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