So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
