That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
