There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Shitshow foam night was such a success
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
